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"Someday Alice, POW, right in the kisser," Jackie Gleason playing Ralph Cramden in the "Honeymooners" used to tell his sitcom wife. That line elicited laughs 40 years ago, but today would not because we are becoming more aware of domestic violence and its devastating effects on our families and our communities. Domestic violence is a pervasive problem in our city.

In 1998, San Antonio Police Department responded to 31,553 family violence and domestic disturbance calls, one call every 15 minutes day and night all year long. Then consider all the calls our police didn't receive from victims and you get a truer picture of the magnitude of the problem. This means that there is a good chance that a woman you know, a woman who may sit next to you in church, synagogue, or place of worship, has or will be a victim of abuse.

Domestic abuse and battery between partners is a serious offense that must be stopped. In an effort to raise awareness of the horrors of domestic abuse, Congress has designated October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

The year's local theme is "Stop Abuse, Start Respect." The first step in stopping abuse is to name it. A 1996 Presidential Task Force reports that 4 million women in America experience at least one serious assault by an intimate partner during an average 12-month period.

Therapists tell us that all children living in an abusive family -- whether or not they are hit -- are traumatized and will likely carry this abuse with them into their relationships when they grow up. Domestic violence takes on many forms. It is the desperate abuse of power and control used against a family member or partner. It can be physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, or emotional in nature. It can include physical assaults, threats, yelling, criticism, intimidation, harassment, isolation, pressure tactics, sexual assault, violence towards pets, or destruction of property.

It is a common myth that this violence only happens to people from a certain economic group, educational level, race, or ethnic group. Many want to believe that it couldn't happen to people from their neighborhood, church, or synagogue. The truth is that 1 out of 3 families will experience episodes of domestic violence. People of faith are not immune to this type of violence. It does not discriminate. It happens to people of every economic group, educational background, race, and religion.

Our faith requires that we pledge ourselves, with God's help, to strive for justice and peace among all people and that we respect the dignity of every human being -- which means we respect our families and ourselves too.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that condones and tolerates violence in many ways. The use of alcohol and drugs cannot be blamed for the violence, but it can be a contributing factor in escalating the problem. No one deserves to be hurt or hit. Yet, often the victim is falsely blamed for causing the abuse or accused of liking it because he or she feels too scared and isolated to leave.

If you or someone you care about has been abused by a partner or a family member, or if you let your pain and anger turn to violence, seek help today by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or one of the other numbers on the resource list. It may save your life or the life of a friend.

Sources: 1996 Report of the American Psychological Association Presidential Task Force on Violence and the Family, San Antonio Police Department, Breaking The Silence of Violence-A Publication of the Committee on the Status of Women - Episcopal Church USA

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